The Depleted Soul

Nothing like the hustle and bustle of life: exercising for fitness, eating 'healthy', cooking for the family, spending time with children, making time for significant others, obligations to responsibilities and work, while at the same time wanting to make time for yourself. Then you see these dreamy vacation advertisements ensuring people that there is 'more to life' than what is. 

Without a doubt this is a success driven society we live in today, everyone is always on the 'go go go', focused on technology, eyes centered on miniature screens filled with minor mumble jumble "lol", "haha", "i'll be there soon", agenda's packed with appointments, and news filled with tragedies, politics, and worries. 

Life will never stop, and responsibilities are inevitable but the question is:

when will we ever stop, rest, and be present?

      I am one of those life's driven people, I set high standards for myself and wish to accomplish a chalk full of things on my bucket list, and don't get me wrong they're great and it's necessary and a part of life to have goals and to succeed. Yet when was the last time you went to a party with friends without pulling out your phone to text or talk to others? When was the last time you took a break from work without worrying about money? The latter point was huge for me. Whenever having time off from work I would always pick up extra hours to ensure made a certain minimum, I was exhausted without actually realizing it. Extra money was nice but the toll my body took from fatigue was overwhelming in all parts, internally, physically, and mentally. It was unsafe for patients and close ones to be around me because it created this ball of negativity.

I know my limits. 

I took a one week minor vacation, not necessarily going anywhere but being present where I am. Resting because it was needed, and sleeping because I was so sleep deprived. No overly intense work outs, catching up with friends, doing things I've wanted to do and haven't done in a long time.

Life is filled with personal obligations and burdens of the world but sometimes you need to know your limits and to rest when necessary. Being depleted won't make you efficient in work or family life.

Hubby Talent

I must say I'm one of the luckiest women in the world I'm not filthy rich, I don't own mounds of fashionable Louis Vuitton bags, or drive a Benz... But I do have a husband that cooks. He's great at it and what better way to a woman's soul than a man who cooks. Recently the hubby has been into storing his light spiced kim chi. This Kim chi is very flavorful, non oily and moderately spicy. It is a combination of various pickled vegetables that you eat as a side dish with rice or meats.

I find most Kim Chi sold in stores very soft, flat, and lacking flavor. The hubby likes to add carrots, and a special ingredient that gives it that 'zing' for your taste buds. It leans more towards the sweet and zesty with a crunch. 

MIXING THE KIM CHI: MAKE SURE YOU WEAR GLOVES! IT'S SUPER SPICY

PACKAGING KIM CHI IN TUBS, IT GETS BETTER OVER TIME

THE FINAL PACKAGED PRODUCT

I absolutely love to eat, what woman doesn't? So I would like to know what hubby talent does your guy have that you'd like to give a shout out for?? I use the term 'hubby' loosely, it can be any guy in your life that brings you joy, your boyfriend, best friend, hubby or whomever. Remember no matter how big or small the talent, as long as it brings joy to your life that's all that matters! ;) 

Cheers and Happy Lovin!

Change...oh not that again!

Two days ago I had the opportunity to attend a conference called "focus on the 90% and not the 10%" by Darci Lang. I have to say it was the absolute "reset" and reminder that I needed. As much as I knew some of the things that was brought up during this conference life just blinded me with negative emotions, anger, and some sort of void that was left unfilled....I forgot in this moment in time all the things I preached. 

Among the numerous things I learned, if there was one main point that I can share with the world would be  

that we cannot change people

We can only change ourselves and how we think. People can only change themselves when they are willing and ready but we cannot change people. Of course! I thought...I knew this! We all know this! but how many times do we sit here blaming others for the way they are, hoping they will change for the better. It's all in how we choose to approach matters.

I have a loved one whom I blamed for a long time, they have anger management issues, repeatedly bring up past matters that have long gone, they live a good life without giving thanks, they have outrageous public outbursts of anger for smallest matters that are easily fixable. I blamed this loved one for a long time, for my anger, for the way I think and how I feel in aspects of my life. but I never focused on the good things this person has done, the reasons why they did the things they did, and the setting they grew up in which molded their behavior. My reaction towards them only further aggravated the situation, I needed to change...

We've all heard the phrase nothing difficult in life comes easy, and change is one of them. It is almost guaranteed that if you can attempt and succeed at this, you will see a difference in your life. You will think others have changed when really it is just how you've approached situations, how you perceive life because it is you that has changed.

darcilang.com

My Turn to Talk

     Believe it or not you are one of the most powerful  individuals on this earth, you don't have to be a large figure head to make people listen, agree, or spread news of what you say. Everyone has leadership potential but it is the credibility you build that allows others to believe you more. If you're one to 'cry wolf' each and every time chances are people won't listen. One aspect to being a leader is to speak up.

     Whether it is the work place or home life, if you have a chance to take a leadership role why not go for it. Everyone seems to be afraid to be out spoken, afraid of responsibility, afraid of consequences..even I have self doubts but we are all entitled to speak how we feel. There are reasons why we say the things we do and if it is to improve or to benefit 'the whole' then why not? Speak your mind and take on leadership. Of course you can be timid, follow and conform to the crowd and never speak up in the work place. This may be unhealthy as you may brew in anger from the inside which may slowly lead to burn out, or you can speak your mind (with hopes they are with a good approach) without remorse, and release any frustrations or share any great ideas you may have. I won't lie sometimes it's hard to make people listen, but eventually they do.

     People listen more then you think, people repeat your ideas and statements to others when you're not around. How do I know this? because my ideas and what I've stated to others have ran through the cycle of gossip and has been repeated back to me. So, if you've always wanted to speak up here's your chance, don't wait till tomorrow because you are a powerful individual, what you say will have an effect on others. Here's your moment to shine! be a leader and speak your mind! 

Cheers!

Being Truthful With Yourself

"You can control what you say and how you say it, but you can't control how others receive these words" was what my educator used to tell me. I believe this statement to be true in every sense. I recently encountered a situation whereby 'this person' confronted me regarding a incident. On my part I had to swallow my pride and apologize for the situation, rather than compromising 'this person' placed all blame on me, made me look foolish in front of others, lectured me as a child, and reacted as though the incident was all based solely on my responsibility.

'This person' clearly knew the consequences on what was about to occur, yet lied about it. Rather than taking appropriate steps to prevent any mishaps they waited for consequences to occur and began to point fingers at the next person. (as in this case me). I can honestly say I felt terrible and very belittled. 

Most situations can be prevented if all culprits take appropriate measures to prevent mistakes from occurring, it's not just "your fault". I knew the truth of what happened, and despite that this person pointed fingers at me telling me that it is 'my fault' and that is is 'my responsibility'...I know the truth. 

Be the bigger person, apologize for your part. If the other side does not acknowledge their wrongs there is nothing you can do to change their perceptions. Live truthfully, live honestly with yourself. You'll be able to move on with life with ease and without any hold-backs. Live freely and be at peace with your soul before you can be at peace with all other aspects of your life.

The Happy Bug

"I don't gotta lot'a education, I don't gotta lot'a nothing,
but I gotta lot'a personality, it's the gift that God gave me, so I just like to use this gift to brighten up everybody's day"

Panda Ross

     It's so easy to lose track of trying to achieve the ultimate happiness. High stress work environments, drama in the family, co workers, financial issues, kids, trying to catch up with what we call life. It truly is an on going cycle, and despite how positive I want to be I find myself also becoming a victim of being the 'complainer'. Just recently while watching the 'x factor' I found one of the contestants very intriguing. 

She appears to me like the epitome of happiness, with a soulful voice so soothing it makes you forget the troubles surrounding you. She is positive with a boisterous laughter so contagious that it makes me feel almost ashamed to be stressed about amendable situations, and or minor things that don't require being stressed about. 

Negative influences, complainers, from verbal to minor body language can really affect your day, from how your day begins to how it ends. Continuing this will only damper other people's happiness. We need the happiness reminder from time to time, and for me it was this one woman. Watch this video and hopefully it will remind you to be happy and live the simple life. Surround yourself by positive influences trust me it will make a whole world of difference. 

Make sure you guys shut off the music to the right to listen to the video! Cheers!

A Breath of Fresh Air....

As much as I hope to be a positive influence on others, I too experience the inevitable stress. Forces so strong I could almost cry every day..maybe for even pointless reasons...possibly because internally I am a worrisome individual. Daily stressors come with life it can either be limited and dealt with or your can fear it, be angered and run away. When you find yourself on the verge of a breakdown....you are entitled to a much needed break.

Regardless of where you are in life thinking of where, how, and when you'll make it through just stop. Continuing on the same routine and patterns and being unhappy furthers the burnout. Breaks and vacations are wonderful, despite it being one day, two days, or a week long break...it is a HUGE breath of fresh air that energizes the soul.

      Take it from me, a break does not require a large amount of spending, I always thought I should 'get away, go on a vacation, go to the bahamas' etc..jealous of others that are able to do so. Time and finances doesn't permit me to. Therefore, I decided to take a trip 3 and a half hours away for the long weekend. There I spent my time hiking two hours uphill on a mountain by moraine lake, the hike seemed long and thready, hills were steep and it was cold and rainy...it was an endless hike nevertheless, or what seemed to be anyhow. Yet on this endless walk, just midway on the edge finally......... a beautiful waterfall.

      The air so cold that fog would appear on every exhale, but the water was so warm. Every view as breath taking as the next it was well worth cold and the long distance.

Taking a break recycles the human spirit in every way possible. It allows you to regain who you are, to remember where you are at the present moment, to release any bad feelings that you had, and to relive again. 

Despite whatever status you stand at in life, remember you are entitled to a break, why entitled you say? It means YOU deserve it, for all the stressors and obstacles life gives to us, we deserve this precious moment of fresh air. 

LAKE AGNES TEA HOUSE ON TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN

OLD FASHION KETTLE KITCHEN IN THIS QUINT CABIN LIKE TEA HOUSE. SWEET AROMA OR BROWN SUGAR AND BAKING, HERE YOU CAN GET A VARIETY OF TEAS, CHAI, LATTES, OR HERBAL TEAS.

AFTER A STEAMING CUP OF TEA WITH MITTONS AND HIKING BOOTS, YOU CONTINUE THE NEXT HOUR HIKE TO THE SIX GLACIER MOUNTAINS.

Oh humility how i hate you so....

     One of the utmost worst feelings that encourages patience but forces a swallowing of pride is humility. As a person I don't think I could ever degrade another person in public or look down on others based on whatever their status is in life. Unfortunately there are those that do, possibly a co worker, an acquaintance or a random person. This feeling can cut like a sharp knife, open wounds that can bleed out feelings of embarrassment, anger, or pure sadness. 

How should one react? defensive with fight words? run away and hide? Its easy isn't it just to follow our instincts and use fight or flight, but I can honestly say blessed with experiencing humility builds tolerance. You learn to act in a professional and appropriate manner. Doing so will lessen further embarrassment as you've not stooped to such low levels unlike the opposing view. You'll most definitely be angered, you'll wish you've said 'this and that' but in the long run you'll thank yourself because essentially life moves on. That one microscopic moment will mean nothing in your entire lifespan of significant memories. That one moment you spent arguing is wasted breath on a non important person in your life. Realistically, shit does happen and humility does SUCK....but its how you handle the situation so that you don't further suffer the aftermath. 

You could either be confrontational until your face turns blue, then think about the situation when you got home and feel embarrassed for acting like a total idiot...OR ..You could talk in a calm and appropriate manner, admit when you are wrong then go home at the end of the day not give a two shits about the situation because you have moved on. Which one will you choose?

Can I rely on you?

     I just don't understand, I thought one's duty as a bridesmaid or groomsmen is to accept part of the responsibilities, to be the groom and the brides right hand person. To help, to assist, and to be at one's aid whenever needed. Now, I realize that every being has a schedule, Every being has their own time, and what is busy to them may not be busy to another and vice versa. I get that, I get every single aspect of that meaning. 

     However unless a circumstance involves work, sickness, a death or tragedy there should be no excuses. Excuses are crap words and gibberish junk the mind creates to deny responsibility. It is otherwise known as laziness. Once a commitment is made one should stick to their word. It makes for better friendships and a better lifestyle to my belief. 

     There is no such thing as "I'm too busy", there is a "I'm really busy at the moment" or "I'm busy for these next few days" but there's no such thing as "I'm always busy". Surely in a 24hour period there is at least one hour that can be spared to make a phone call, to text someone to say 'hello', and or drink a cup of coffee with a friend. In my case to show up during appointments when scheduled. Surely this is not all black and white, circumstances do change and I won't deny we all are selfish human beings doing what is best for ourselves. 

     Yet once a promise or commitment has been created try to stick on schedule as the other party has made the effort to spend their time with you. It's about being dependable, staying on schedule, and taking responsibility, some of which are good values to find in a good friend. Do you find yourself cancelling dates with friends, and making excuses discovering that friends are calling you less than usual? If so, it might be time to change as good friends are hard to find, and who knows you may need a good friend to lean on once an awhile.

when life gives you lemons throw it back in life's face!

This is so contradictory from the meaning of my blog but I tell ya I never realized how stressful wedding planning can be, ESPECIALLY if you certain traditions, religions, or superstitions to follow. Women especially are extra hard working and normally I really don't like complaining or becoming some sort of bridezilla but planning is really difficult. Women start exercising and dieting, they plan every little detail, work, yet at the same time attempt to maintain the house work and cooking. Men help to, but in my case very rarely....men's tux fitting is easy, weight is easy EVERYTHING comes easy whereas a woman's dress takes six months to order in advance?! yet another one of those crazy life's mystery. 

        On top of wedding stress and working out, a massive attack of acne appears and I am hooped, attempting to eat right doesn't help. Eating right for me consists of a healthy balanced diet with yogurt and fruits, and whole wheat, and despite cutting out processed sugars and all other foods I enjoy.... I start to break out.

(heres a tip for acne sufferers):

1) yogurt is high is bacterial cultures which leads to an increased susceptibility to acne breakouts

2) Coffee increases cortisol levels contributing to higher stress levels and ultimately acne

3) wheat increases blood glucose levels which produces insulin inducing inflammation and again....acne

Coffee the love of my life will be dropped from my life....i'm damaged to the center of my being! sigh! I am not one to follow a holistic cleansing hippie organic lifestyle. i like to eat and enjoy....but apparently life threw me a curve ball...if i eat and enjoy life is good but I'll suffer eternal acne and weight gain.......and for the price of beauty i'll have to throw out pretty much all foods I enjoy. I might as well crawl in a hole, live with smeagol and eat off raw dead fish and wait for that pretty little preciouuuusss...

A Friendly Reminder

okay readers, point blank..i know I SUCK at keeping up with blogging. I couldn't help it..life got in the way. Yes, so i've confined myself to life...the unbeknownst thing called marriage. I got engaged this past year and have been planning this tedious stressful wedding. Of coarse man doesn't do much since both choosing clothes and ideas for the wedding is 'anything good' to them, and for women it's 'every little detail'. Anyhoo life is busy for me so sorry readers and followers and friends. I have tons to share so you'll have plenty to read. I'm at a new chapter in my life with new events happy and sad, new pictures, and so on. Stay tuned y'all!