Wednesday, November 06, 2013

Quick To Judge

     Although we always learn to "never judge a book by it's cover" every person has preconceptions based on experiences with various people in our lives such as colleagues, family members, or friends. You may have negative emotions relating to these relationships and begin to develop a 'defense' mechanism on how to react and when to react to individuals you categorize to be within that realm of 'negative emotions'. Although it becomes almost automatic, judging others will cause even more damage to the internal soul leading to more resentment and unnecessary stress in our lives. 

I made the mistake one day by listening to a colleague talk about another person (we'll call her Brenda for the sake of simplicity).  My colleague stated that Brenda was lazy, controlling and likes to boss others around. I immediately became defensive as I refuse to let myself be subject to that behavior. It was like listening to a review on a movie that I have never watched, telling others I wouldn't watch a movie because it had poor reviews. Upon meeting Brenda and based on what I already know about her I reacted before she could get 2 words in. My assumptions and my tone altered how she responded and to say the least it created a disagreement between the two of us. 

Brenda has been with us for awhile now and has gotten along well with many colleagues. She is neither of the many things this one colleague had stated about her. Being too quick to judge and too defensive caused unnecessary stress at work on my part, furthermore I felt poorly about my behavior. 

     Stop your subconscious from preconceived notions about others, think before you talk, and listen to what others have to say. Doing so can help ease stress in every day life by developing a good work relationship with colleagues and possibly even make friends along the way. I'm not promoting that it is a must you become friends with everyone that you encounter but in all honesty it does ease stress levels by getting along with others. Simply by prohibiting judgement from encounters at the grocery stores to work and home life will make your days go smoother and stress free. Who wouldn't want that? So before you refuse to watch a movie based on a review you might want to check it out because who knows it might end up being a favorite that you will enjoy for a long time. 

One Love